Anyone who knows me In Real Life will know this very simple fact about me.
Anyone who knows me in the Blogosphere might have heard it alluded to.
And anyone reading this is about to find out...
I HATE the cold.
Hate, hate, hate it.
And the dark.
And don't even get me started on the rain.
And, in fact, just winter, even though (I know) Christmas and everything...
But getting up in the dark, going out and spending the day at work (yes, even in my super-fun new job, because it requires being on and off the van every ten minutes, in the COLD or RAIN or whatever) and coming home in the dark. Where it's gloomy, even with the lights on, because I think the gloominess is on the inside, not the outside.
Then there are the leaves, rotting away to gacky mush all around, and the trees getting bare and baldy and ready to start stiffening under the first frosts.
Which begins to herald the time where going out feels like razors across bare skin, and inhaling is painful and leaves you with lungfuls of sharp air and cycling means that your eyes tear up with the cutting wind, leaving freezing tracks of water down your cheeks.
There are the fingers and toes which never warm up, and stop working properly once they've gone purple. Ankles which begin to ache from cold, wrists which go numb...to say nothing of nose and ears and back of shoulders, where shivers originate.
There's that ugly, deep-down, cold-at-the-core type of chill, which (once it arrives) stays for hours and hours.
There's waking up in the night slightly too cold to sleep, but knowing that 'outside' is too nippy to risk getting up to find a fourth blanket to sleep under, which heralds a night of drifting in and out of uncomfortably cold snoozes and awaking, exhausted, next morning, pleased to put clothes on and get moving.
And after all that, there's the ever-present risk that I'll be wearing my usual five layers and somehow end up in a shop (or wherever) that's magically, beautifully warm, and (quite apart from never wanting to leave it ever again) I'll over-heat.
Winter is too long, and too hard, and I'm upset because the forecasters are already predicting snow.
So, in need of an action plan, I sat and thunk and discussed and came up with the following, which should help.
- Fortnightly visits to a tanning booth to get a fix of UV light, brightness and warmth
- Wearing bright colours and trying to love that I get to wear my new Nerd hat
- Focussing on the bright lights which can be seen so much more clearly in the dark
- Enjoying hearty winter foods (if I can be bothered to cook them)
- Listening to summery music and yearning for the upturn in temperature and light levels which will herald the return of spring
- Oh crap! Am I out already? There must be more!
- No, that really is it!