Google+ Considerings: Ten Things of Thankful #30

Saturday, 11 January 2014

Ten Things of Thankful #30

Call me Hercules. Some time ago - no matter how long precisely - having little or no common sense in my head, and nothing particular to interest me in deviating from my whinings, I thought I would wander around a little, and open my eyes and mind to the ways other people found themselves to be happy.

Many impassioned pleas were made of me along the way - "Love yourself", "Learn to be at peace", "Be kind to yourself", "Be happy with what you have" - and whilst all of these seemed like wonderful, wholesome ideals, designed to fill anyone's cup of self-contentment to the brim, they seemed like huge, huge asks, and the idea that I could suddenly just learn to do them because they'd been suggested, was laughable.

Not that any of these comments were sent with anything less than the very best of intentions, mind. But perhaps there's a disconnect (or not - I might find myself once again in larger company than I initially would presume) between the achievable for a person who is (in essence and majority) a healthy, whole, person - emotionally speaking - and a person who is not. Because a person with low self-esteem and a pathetically small (still) sense of self-worth is thwarted from within on each of these points.

In each case, there is a rebuff - a conditioned, built-in lie - which undermines efforts to achieve those things, the desire to achieve them, and the feeling that such glorious things should even be attainable by one such as the self.

Unhooking from that lie is infinitely harder than I ever realised. But years and years of that lie, perpetrated by those who really should've been saying the opposite, will do that to you. And it's easy to hold up the few survivors with the strength of character to know all along that the lie is a lie is a lie, and not to be believed, and to provide their flourishment (once free of the toxic environment) as a shining example.

I didn't have the strength of character. It was bulldozed from a young age and I fully believed the lie. And this lie was everywhere. It was at home. It was at school. It was at church. All the places which should have been havens of nurture and building-up were places where I was torn to shreds. Daily.

And in amongst the lies of worthlessness and undeserving, were the odd dichotomies - those people who cared and who said nice things - who tried to counteract the lies. But it was too late, and I appreciated their kindness in trying to make me feel better, but could never take their words on board, because they just didn't make sense within the frame of reference I was using.

I still struggle with that. The frame of reference has become wider, less overbearing, but it still factors. I find compliments very challenging and tend to fob them off. I've sat, frozen, trying not to obey the insistent twitching in my legs, burning to get up and leave, as someone has said Nice Things to my face, and meant it. I've ended conversations with friends online, or plain old avoided them in case they try to say something Nice, because the pain of trying to assimilate their goodness and generosity and extreme kindness in saying such things (and as far as they're concerned, they really believe them) into a mindset I still recognise as being set to 'Undeserving', 'Not worthy', is very real. I've often felt they are well meaning but wasting their time.

Grindingly slowly, things are changing for the better. Enough drip-feeding of positives is going on that I'm beginning to think more about this. I'm working on strengthening my resolve to help things change. I'm better connected with friends in real life (I think) and I've learned increasingly from a few of my more hysterical 'mericans, about how to offer encouragement and receive support graciously.
But there was still a flaw in the plan.

To achieve the 'love' and the 'peace' and the 'happiness', I first needed to figure out what happiness was. Because if I don't know it, how can I achieve it? The other two I can work on later. I feel like happiness is key, here.

So I bought a book which sounded sensible, and began reading it. And something leapt right off the page and hit me. 'Happiness' and 'Feeling good' are two different things. What people often strive for (in the name of happiness) is to feel good. And when they feel good, they call themselves happy. When they do not feel good, they call themselves unhappy.

And yet. Happiness is so much greater than feeling good. And I've not read enough of the book yet to succinctly cover each of the areas in which happiness is looked at, but the thing I've taken away from it is that Happiness is mostly about DOING Good.

I've been getting it all wrong.

I've spent so long feeling bad about myself that I've ended up trying to redress the balance by being far too focussed on trying to 'Feel Good' about myself. Which may or may not happen. Instead I should have been trying to focus on DOING Good. Because the rewards that brings are far greater than narcissism and a mirror with poison glass.

Which brings me to Hercules.

Hercules was a naughty man and did some bad, bad things. To atone, he was set twelve trials. Once he'd completed these, he would be granted immortality.


I am not particularly badly behaved (except sometimes) and I don't think I've done much which is truly bad. So I'm not atoning for anything. But I like the idea of putting my challenges into trials, and by completing them, achieving Happiness.

A wise friend recently said to me that if I went out running in the rain and wind and cold, and had a thoroughly miserable time slogging through it, I could work on my determination and desire to achieve my goals whilst I was running, and then at the end, the warmth and deliciousness of coming home and getting clean and dry and warm again would be so much more accentuated. He was right.

Hercules had twelve trials. I'm going to stick with the aim of the hop and choose Ten. And the thankfulness will (I hope) help to accentuate them with a flavour of that Happiness.
The Trial: Keep on running, but for the right reasons. Hold shallowness lightly and focus more on the health benefits and be pleased at my achievements as they happen.
The Thankful: I have the luxury of a safeish city to run in. And appropriate gear to do so. I am rich indeed.

The Trial: Stop judging. Especially myself. There is a saying 'you can judge a man by his friends', and if that's true, I'm golden. I need to chuck away the lie and the old frame of reference and learn to accept that if I can sustain awesome friendships with such amazing, lovely people because they want to be friends with me then I must trust their judgement and assume that there is somethingone worth their time.
The Thankful: I have amazing friends.

The Trial: Develop a right attitude to money. At the moment I tend to feel guilty for having it and try to give lots away, or spend it like water and wonder where it's all gone. And I'm historically very bad at managing money. I tend to panic-save and rarely buy anything for the sake of it (except shoes sometimes. and books).
The Thankful: I have money to work with. 

The Trial: Prioritise the Real World more. This one's gonna be really hard.  But I do need more sleep (as luxurious as it is to have a lunchtime nap in the back of the van). And I need to leave on time in the mornings rather than staying online to read one last blog post.
The Thankful:  I have a job to be late for.

The Trial: Be a better wife. I'm still 'hungover' from the past three years. I need to stop defaulting to snappish and exasperated. I need to learn to be loving and kind. And slower to anger.
The Thankful: I have Husby. And he's worth the trial.

The Trial: Let go of anxieties about the future. Is this the biggest, hardest one yet? Perhaps. Because that future and the question-mark of children still terrifies me. But my anxieties are having huge impact, and they need to be better managed. I need to continue to (and plan to) Do Good in spite of being anxious.
The Thankful: I have people and systems (if needed) who can support me in this.

The Trial: Buy the book I contributed to. This one is shameful. I still haven't bought it yet because it still hurts to think why I'm in it. WonderAunty has a copy, and I couldn't even hold it for too long.
The Thankful: This book IS BRINGING HOPE to women who need it. And if I share it, it will bring more hope. But first I need to buy it.

The Trial: Be more organised about housework. This ties into the Real Life thing. It's something I find not in the least bit interesting when my laptop is calling me, and I do it with bad grace, nearly every time.
The Thankful: Sarah inspired me with the word 'Frog' and a concrete method for achieving this.

The Trial: Wow! I got to the end of the things I can think that I need to change, before I got to ten!
The Thankful: I only have eight trials to achive.

The Trial: Free-for all (genuinely) - what do you think I need to work on?
The Thankful: I have people I know well enough to know they will offer constructive criticisms.

The En---nooooooooo WAIT!

Hang about! I promised you BIG AWESOME GOOD NEWS

And guess what. I didn't forget.

Sad news first - Melissa has decided that the time is right for her to step down as a TToT co-host.

AMAZING AWESOME BIG NEWS RIGHT NOW

Our new co-host is the ever-so lovely, wonderful, heck YOU KNOW HER ALREADY -

*\o/* SANDY *\o/*

Pop on over to Mother of Imperfection and congratulate her - she's going to be BRILLIANT at this.

Ten Things of Thankful


 Your hosts

71 comments:

  1. Okay, in what world do I get to be new co-host AND first commenter! Forget the million dollars, dude! I'm already rich! Be right back...

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  2. So sorry to have Melissa leave, but so very happy that Sandy has decided to co-host here. Seriously, that totally put a smile on my face and worth the wait to hear. Thanks as always and be back in the AM now!! :)

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  3. I had to publish that before anyone else slid in while I was finishing what I wanted to say! I cheat. I think you have done a fine job of listing your trials and thankfuls. There is a ton of good on this list and I can't (honestly) think of anything to add to it. I could borrow a few of these for my own life (is it me or does that happen a lot with your posts?). I need a tune up in each of these areas myself, especially my health and physical self. I realize with a hard slap these days that I am not getting any younger and I'm going to have to make myself a priority. Everyone else may have to do a little more of their own care taking. Now, if I had to second one of the trials mentioned it would be that you should stop judging yourself. I think, as do many, many, many others that you are amazing and lovely and wise and witty and....and...and....

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  4. That IS awesome new! Congrats, Sandy!!! Woop!
    Again, you tackled a post with true Lizzi uniqueness. I loved the way you did this, with the "work on" and then the thankful. As for the "free for all", can't think of anything new. You covered it all. Except maybe get a second job at a strip club to speed the fund drive for the trip to 'Merica!

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  5. I'm glad it was worth the wait - I thought so. I've been bursting with excitement all week to tell :D I'm so happy Sandy said yes to this.

    Look forward to your beautiful post in the morning :D

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  6. First, you said: The Trial: Be a better wife. I'm still 'hungover' from the past three years. I need to stop defaulting to snappish and exasperated. I need to learn to be loving and kind. And slower to anger.The Thankful: I have Husby. And he's worth the trial.


    This was one of my trials too. I say was, because I have largely overcome it and am now mostly loving and kind to my hubs. I am definitely much slower to anger. I have come to love him unconditionally and have a huge amount of compassion for what it must be like to be him, so therefor, how can I be so easily exasperated? I'm no darling. There's shit I throw at him. And he STRUGGLES in life. I simply MUST just love him. I mean, I'm still allowed to be nag sometimes, and call him on some of shit, but mostly, just love.


    And I GET exactly what you mean about being hungover from experiences. EXACTLY. I wonder if you do the same thing I've done, which is lump each individual THING that happens together until you feel like the SKY IS FALLING. Know this Lizzi, life isn't out to get you. It's just life. I've been learning that.


    For your free for all of what else you could work on, I was gonna suggest maybe trying, just a little bit, to, perhaps, shorted your post a bit. But then I went and wrote you a novella ofa comment. So I have no legs to stand on! :-)

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  7. You sneaksy thing! But we all cheat. It's the 'thing' now, since FIRST! has become a game.


    Feel free to borrow any of the trials you want. I hope they'll be useful to me. And I hope I can be a little accountable now I've said this here, out loud. If they're useful to you, too, so much the better.

    I read a very cool thing on Stephanie Sprenger's blog this morning, about showing your kids that when they grow up, if they decide to be parents, they' realise they'll still get to be WHOLE persons.


    (she said it much better)


    And I'll try to stop judging. That might be the hardest, in fact.

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  8. Well done, Weldon. Sorry about that terrible joke. That intro, though; I understand. I always undercut compliments by trying to convince myself they're not sincere. Why is it so hard to believe someone thinks something nice about you? And it's insulting to the complimenter to assume he/she's not genuine.
    But I'm trying to improve and take compliments at face value. What if that was your last one: to accept compliments with grace?

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  9. I know, Sandy! Right? So awesome :D

    Gotta keep those thankfuls, even when I'm trying to be a smartass about it and post something rather un-thankful. Glad you think I covered it all.

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaand yeah no :p

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  10. Ack! Don't make me edit! Editing is painful. And clearly yiz down here (at least) read all of it. Thanks for the novella though - it helps to know that you know this, and that you're ahead of me. Thanks for passing back the info.

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  11. I don't think they aren't sincerely meant. I completely think that people are very sincere and believe and mean what they say. I'm just not good at feeling worthy of their good opinion. That's more my issue.

    Your last one is (probably) very good, and also very hard. One you might try too, I guess? Whaddya think?

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  12. I guess I think people are sincerely wishing to make me feel good, but then I think they must be inflating or inventing to make me feel good. And I won't fall for their trap!!! Psyches are weird.
    I actually am working on this. Have a specific example but probably best not to publicly announce. :)

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  13. I have your free for all....but only if you are up for it. We can talk 'over there' ---->
    about it later if you want!

    I love all of your Trials and your Thankfuls!!! And all your insight is always brilliantly exposed... laced with beauty and integrity where one could least expect it.

    I love that about you- only you have that, Lizzi. Only you.

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  14. Yep - we'll talk. Your input would be appreciated.

    And thanks :D I hope they pay off!

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  15. No, that's cool. But I'm glad you're thinking about it.

    I think we're overthinking this. But yes - psyches are weird.

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  16. I am so proud of you! Being kind to my self was the hardest thing. It still is a discipline to take off those old horrible thoughts and words. Working at putting on positive thoughts and words is so worth it. The changing point for me was when I considered, "Love your neighbor as yourself," and realized if I didn't love myself, how could I truly love others.

    You got this babe!

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  17. I had much the same thought earlier, with judge not lest ye be judged - who the hell am I, really, to say that I'm not worthwhile? When so many people would beg to differ.

    I hope I got this. We'll see.

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  18. Hooray for only 8 things! Sounds like you are on the right track.

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  19. Susan Zutautas11 January 2014 12:26

    My aunt recently said to me "Susan it is time to stop worrying about everyone else around you and to start being kind to yourself." This is the same woman that when I told her I had lung cancer in the same telephone conversation said to me, "Shit happens." Over the course of ten years she'd lost her husband and her daughter both to lung cancer so I can understand her shit happens reply to me.

    My advise to anyone is don't wait till something bad happens to you to be kind to yourself. It's not always easy, but everyone deserves kindness to oneself.

    There are so many things I learned about others and myself later in life. I only wish I had learned these things earlier on. I guess it is true that the older we get the wiser we become.

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  20. All linked and Happy Saturday!!! :)

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  21. It is so easy to fall victim of our misfortunes and put our full attention on it. It is a process to learn to envision the entire picture. What went wrong/is wrong etc. versus what is good/what was accomplished etc.
    It may sound stupid because it came out of Oprah's mouth (I loathe her) but she's right in the theory of putting what you're grateful of on paper. For me, since I have some...ummm...mental issues...I write down the things I conquered. Just like you're doing here. Give that a whirl. Or not. Eat a cookie. Or not. Look in the mirror and say "Yup, that Kimberly from Canada was right. I am awesome." or not but you should. I know awesome when I see it.
    xo

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  22. nice post Herc... as far as a free for all I am way too in need of a revamp to cast any golden apples...sorry cant help ya out there...

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  23. oops forgot...know where I can get one of those IVs? and SANDY! nice choice....

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  24. what a very good Post. I totally 'get' what you are saying, and better yet you are living proof of the wisdom of what you say.
    very cool

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  25. Joy @ Comfytown11 January 2014 16:47

    I love your drawrings, they are so cute and the LOVE I.V. is amazing!
    So much goodness.
    FYI: When I think of Hercules, and it's been awhile since I've read anything about him, I just say "He's half HUMAN and what is it to be human? To err is human" so that explains it! We're all human, we're allowed to make mistakes, we're allowed not to be perfect (which is subjective and impossible) and we're ALLOWED to forgive ourselves for being human. Change "making mistakes" or "Being Wrong" to "Being Human." Please don't beat up Lizzi for Being Human, Lizzi is my friend and she tries harder than anyone I know to beat this whole "Being Human" thing, but try to embrace it a little bit, because it's sucky but it's also? A LOT OF FUN!
    Great post, I'm teary-eyed as usual after reading something you wrote, but with a GIANT SMILE on my face. How do you do that??? :)

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  26. Joy @ Comfytown11 January 2014 16:49

    You've got this, Hercu-Lizzi!

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  27. dude(the)! nicely played, Miz Sandy, very cool first act as a TToT hostinae….

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  28. I hope so! They're 8 pretty big Things, BUT good that I have them to work on.

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  29. She sounds like a very frank and forthright person. Perhaps I need that kind of input, to tell me to pull my head out of my ass and get on with the business of living a good life, rather than constantly worrying about hang-ups.

    I can't wait to be older and wiser, but I guess it's a 'journey' and I need to pay heed to the lessons along the way. Thank you for this one.

    Looking forward to your TToT, whenever you're ready for it. I hope things are well with you.

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  30. I'm glad you think so. No cookies needed. I promise you that!


    Seeing the bigger picture is a much harder task than looking down a tunnel at the things which are Less Than. But even though Oprah said it (tbh, I know so little of her I can barely hold an opinion) I think it has some merit to it.



    Writing down things you've conquered sounds like a really good exercise. I should try that some time. In the meantime, Thankfuls are things I can really get on board with, because remembering to be grateful reminds me HOW MUCH I have to be grateful for. And gives perspective.

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  31. Thanks. Ah well. I shall keep you for the delight of hearing 'schookered' every now and again, because it never fails to make me smile :)

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  32. This was one of your bests posts ever. Such a brilliant deconstruction of self esteem (one that I could very well relate to) and happiness. Please know and accept how amazing this piece of writing was.

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  33. Friends. Family. People who love you. Skip. Nature. Art. Beauty. Music.

    The things which feed you in a good way. They're what goes into the IV.

    AND I KNOW :D SO happy about it :D

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  34. Why thank you. I am trying my darndest to take these good lessons and LEARN from them, rather than ignore them or turn them to one side. I want to improve, and if people are kind enough to offer me the benefit of their knowledge and experience, I should pay heed.

    And SEE - I told you it was good.

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  35. Lizzi, I just loved the way you did your list this week, putting a positive spin on trials like we all face by finding things to be thankful for in each situation. What a great lesson to all of us! I also appreciated your thoughts on well-meaning comments and how it is sometimes hard to take them to heart. I once had a friend who saw her self as "a black magic marker" (in her words), and believed that everything she touched in life turned black and ugly. No amount of kind words or caring thoughts could change how she felt about herself until she was ready to consider that she might be someone of value and have some light within her own soul. I am so grateful that you continue to hang in there and have made some wonderful improvements in your life, I know it isn't easy and there are some big issues to come to terms with, but I have no doubt you will find your way. Blessings and love to you always!

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  36. I have no idea! Um. You have me stumped. I guess something resonated for you.

    I definitely need to be better at remembering that 'perfect' is both subjective and unachievable.

    Joy, thank you so much for your response - I shall try, I shall TRY so hard to be a bit less harsh on myself and to allow myself to make mistakes and be mistake-ful and not beat myself up about it. I hold myself to high standards in most part because I feel so worthless/useless that I figure unless I can be 'better', I can never hope to stand on an even footing with anyone else. I often don't like being in my brain, because it tells me that kind of thing.

    Thanks for the compliments on the drawings. I have a lot of fun making them, and the love IV was hilarious to create.

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  37. Katia...I'm speechless (still, and I know we just talked on FB too...) I'm gonna have to go back and read what I wrote and figure out what you were reading. I'm glad you like it so much. Kind of concerned that you can relate to it so much, but hope that you can hook into the happiness bit more :) We'll talk again, my friend :D

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  38. Have Husby buy your book- isn't he the one who does internet purchasing anyways? And then tell him to put it away somewhere for when you are ready. I even bought your book- proud of you!

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  39. Oh my gosh, I love the Hercules thing. I'll be back...I promised myself I'd finish my homework before I get on with my blog catch-up today, so I want to try and stick to that. Focus, right? Focus...focus...focus...

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  40. REALLY? Wow! I haven't got to yours yet but hey, that's cool! Not often I synchronise with a scott, but AWESOME :D I'm gonna skip ahead to you now (ohh, do I dare?) and see what you put.

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  41. Now THAT'S a good idea. Thank you. Why didn't I think of that?! Did you really? You're so sweet to do that - thank you :D (don't read it - it's sad. Hopeful but sad)

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  42. Well when you get to it, read the linked thing to the Frog post. Because that's HUGE. And it works. I've been living it this week (a bit) and it's AMAZING.

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  43. Stephanie @ Life, Unexpectedly11 January 2014 22:07

    How awesome for Sandy!! That's really exciting :-) Love your list. When I read your story, I so wanted to hug you (and shake you a little to think about yourself as you do), but I know exactly where you come from. Can you believe that even on my wedding day, I couldn't believe that someone would do something as crazy as marrying ME!! I'd been on the search for love and acceptance for so long, and all I found was rejection and ridicule. It was a hard journey to where I am now, but I think I can say that I am truly happy. If you're looking for more resources, there's a book called "The Art of Happiness" by the Dalai Lama, I read it about once a year, and I get out of it so refreshed and energized. Have a great weekend, Lizzi!

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  44. Oh! I did it! I went out of order to read you and the world didn't end YAY!

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  45. Oh! I did it! I went out of order to read you and the world didn't end YAY! I *can* break patterns!

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  46. Awwwh Stephanie that's a horrible way to feel on your wedding day. But I can believe it. Well I found a book today called Toxic Parents, by Susan Forward, and I have high hopes that it will help me to figure out and undo some of the mindsets I've ended up with.


    I've also got one going on by a Benedictine Abbot, called 'Finding Happiness'. It's really very good, but yours sounds good too :)

    You have a great weekend yourself, my friend :D

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  47. This is a great list. It's such a useful way to look at things - to see the trials or challenges and then find gratitude.

    That book you're reading sounds interesting. After commenting on your post yesterday I started thinking that perhaps it's not happiness we should be aiming for but wholeness. I don't always feel happy but I am far more accepting of that than I once was. I can feel sadness, fear or anger and (mostly) know that it will pass. There's an inner peace with how or what I am, and a willingness to look peacefully at others too. Of course, like most people, I don't always manage that, but it definitely takes much less time to return to a feeling of peace than it used to do. I think your commitment to let go of anxieties about the future will bring you this kind of peace.
    Great stuff!

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  48. Mrs. Always Random11 January 2014 23:27

    So glad you found someone to take over the spot...sorry that Melissa felt that she had to go, but God brings the right people for the right time to fill the jobs he has for them. Sandy will be great!

    Fabulous way to do your list. Glad you are turning all these trials into "thanks" as we knew you would/could. Praying for you always. :)

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  49. I hope so, I hope so! Gradually, with enough of the right input, I'm discovering that happiness and feeling good are different things, and that whilst they CAN go hand in hand, they don't always. I'm also (slowly) learning to change my perspective and shift unhelpful foci. Which is amazing.

    I think it will take a long time to get those shifts engrained, but to know that I need to deal with them is helpful. To write them and have them organised on paper and in my mind, is a good thingl

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  50. Indeed so. All things in all times and On Purpose. Sandy's gonna be amazing, She already IS amazing :D


    And thank you. I think the whole perspective of thankfulness is HUGELY helpful for adjusting the focus and ensuring that I don't get too bogged down. There ARE Good Things - I just need to be mindful of them.

    Thank you for your prayers :D

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  51. OK, that was a great post - loved it! Did I do all my homework? No...I so put it off for tomorrow. But perhaps I will indeed get up and tackle it right away in the morning before the rest of the house gets awake.
    Again, loved the Hercules thing - what a great way to lay this list down. (Hmm...weird vernacular...what's that about?) You have lots of wonderful things on here. And I think Kate's idea (down below me) is great - get someone to buy the book and tuck it away for when you're ready.
    OK, putting Zilla in the tub and then off to bed so I can get more work done (ahem...attempt to pretend I'm getting work done).

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  52. Ha! Happy bathtime :D That's usually a happy time (if splashy).

    Sarah wrote amazing things on that post, forsure! I love it so much I keep linking it. And no worries about the homework - you'll get to it. Don't try to do it tired, because it won't happen and it'll just wear you down.

    And thanks :D I thought it was pretty clever of me (in spite of two trials less than Hercules, and two more less in my list).

    I'll ask Husby to buy the book :D She's full of good ideas, is Kate.

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  53. Adventures w/Riley12 January 2014 04:05

    I love the Trial and the Thankful!!!


    What I know of you...you are one awesome lady! <3

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  54. I love the way you've presented this list. It is so indicative of your own internal drive. I'm so sorry you had a really hard childhood, but I really admire your fortitude. I hope you can learn to understand--in your heart, not just your head--that you are a wonderful, deserving person.

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  55. I'm glad you liked how I put it together. And thanks :D

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  56. Not yet I don't, but I'll keep trying - keep throwing myself at that big ol' brick wall until I finally manage to smash it down without just going *splat*

    Thank you for your encouragement.

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  57. What a great way to present your list this week! As for struggling with feelings of self-worth - I know you "know" in your head that you are amazing - but it can be hard to overcome feelings and experiences from youth. You never really forget it - so sorry to hear about that bit.
    I had to smile at the link to the "eat the Frog" post - that one really resonated with me too. I've been telling myself to "eat the frog" all week on various things. I think it works :)

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  58. Brittnei Washington12 January 2014 17:28

    These are some really brutally honest trials that you are putting out there about yourself. Hooray for you being so courageous to be this transparent. I like how you mentioned how it was a trial but then you say why you should be thankful for the fact that you even have what you have to consider something about it to be a trial or struggle. I think you will get through the trials...and being thankful for what you have, makes you less apt to focus on the things that you perceive, at the moment, to be so so important. :)

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  59. Well, you're getting things done, by the sound of it, so I'd say it works. It's a great concept, for sure.

    I've yet to entirely make the transition to 'knowing' in my head. But I have a lot of people who I respect telling me their thoughts, so that's encouraging as long as I TAKE TIME TO LISTEN. And pay heed.

    It's one of those things, yaknow? It'll improve. Or change.

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  60. The thankfulness certainly makes the trials easier to contemplate. They're wicked hard otherwise. And yes - brutally honest because what other way is there. I know I don't owe it to be public about these things, but it helps me to be accountable - it makes this blogging thing a whole lot more Real if I'm transparent and Truthful about it.

    Thanks for the encouragement :D

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  61. I love the way you did this - finding something to be thankful for within each trial. I have been terrible in the past about judging myself and I am trying to do better so that I can be a better example for my girls. But, old habits die hard. I think remembering our blessings - our thankfuls - is a great way to "swallow the frog" and begin to conquer our trials.

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  62. Yes, though I like to think of the thankfuls as the little added seasoning which makes that ol' frog more palatable :D

    And yes - I'm SO with you. Getting out of long-ingrained habits of thinking is really, really tough. You have better motivation than I do, though, I reckon ;) Keep at it.

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  63. Oh bless your heart. Does Disqus not work on your phone? It should do? *I* can finally comment from mine, using it.

    However. I'm glad that you come back and say things. That's really nice. And yes - it'll eventually work. The positive input will one day outweigh the negative, and I'll 'get' what everyone's on about :D Thank you.

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  64. Disqus works, but I hate leaving comments on my phone. I'll do it sometimes, but I'd rather wait until I can use my laptop. And know that I always read even if I stay quiet.xoxo

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  65. Fair enough. And AWESOME. Thank you :D *HUGS*

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  66. Dyanne @ I Want Backsies13 January 2014 23:56

    I'd like to think I'm rubbing off on you just a little bit when I see how you've found something positive in every one of your trials. Just remember that ant....

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  67. More than you know, my lovely friend. I keep remembering the ant. And I hope I don't need to send him back to you *MASSIVEHUGS*

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